How to Build Self-Confidence in Dating: 5 Simple Tips
Dating can feel stressful, especially if you're worried about how to act or whether you'll say the "right" thing. But the good news is: You don’t need to be perfect or have all the answers. Building self-confidence in dating is about being comfortable with yourself and feeling good about who you are, even when things don’t go perfectly. Confidence is something you can practice, and just like learning any new skill, the more you try, the easier it gets.
In this post, we’ll go over five simple tips that can help you feel more confident in dating. These tips are easy to practice and can help you feel more comfortable and authentic when meeting new people or going on dates.
1. Use Positive Self-Talk
What is it?
Positive self-talk is when you say kind and supportive things to yourself. This helps remind you that you’re worth getting to know and can be a great way to build confidence before a date.
Why It Helps:
When you say good things about yourself, you start to feel more relaxed and less worried about how others see you. If you’re calm and kind to yourself, it’s easier to enjoy the date and not stress about mistakes or what might go wrong.
How to Practice:
Before you go on a date, say three positive things about yourself. For example:
“I am a good listener.”
“I have interesting things to talk about.”
“I am kind and caring.”
Saying these things out loud can help you feel better and ready for the date. You can even write them down on a piece of paper and read them whenever you need a confidence boost.
2. Take Small, Achievable Steps
What is it?
Instead of focusing on big, overwhelming things, start with small, simple actions that make you feel good. Taking little steps will help you get more comfortable with dating over time.
Why It Helps:
Breaking things down into smaller actions makes dating feel less scary. Every time you try something small, like starting a conversation, it helps build your confidence for bigger steps.
How to Practice:
Start by talking to people in low-pressure situations, like:
Saying “Hi” to someone at the coffee shop.
Asking a coworker about their day.
Complimenting a friend (like saying, “I like your shirt!”).
As you practice these small steps, you’ll feel more comfortable when it’s time for a bigger conversation, like a date.
3. Focus on What You Can Control
What is it?
When you’re on a date, there are things you can’t control, like how the other person will respond. But there are things you can control, like being yourself, asking questions, and showing interest in the other person.
Why It Helps:
Focusing on what you can control takes the pressure off. It stops you from worrying about what might happen and helps you stay relaxed and present during the date.
How to Practice:
Before your date, think about things you can do that are within your control:
Ask simple, open-ended questions (like, “What do you like to do for fun?”).
Be kind and listen when the other person talks.
Stay calm and remember that being yourself is enough.
The more you focus on what you can control, the less anxious you will feel about the date.
4. Practice Confident Body Language
What is it?
Body language is the way you use your body to communicate. Standing tall, and smiling can make you seem confident—even if you don’t feel it inside at first.
Why It Helps:
Sometimes, acting confident on the outside can help you feel confident on the inside. When you show open, relaxed body language, it makes you feel better and also helps the other person feel comfortable with you.
How to Practice:
Here are some simple body language tips:
Stand or sit up straight. This helps you look more confident.
Smile naturally. Smiling makes you look friendly and helps create a relaxed atmosphere.
These small actions can make a big difference in how you feel and how others see you.
5. Reframe Awkward Moments
What is it?
Everyone has awkward moments now and then, like saying the wrong thing or spilling a drink. Instead of letting these moments make you feel embarrassed, try to laugh or brush them off as part of being human.
Why It Helps:
When you accept that mistakes happen, you won’t feel as bad about them. Being able to laugh at yourself or move past awkward moments shows that you’re confident and relaxed.
How to Practice:
If something awkward happens, like you spill your drink or say something silly, instead of apologizing over and over, try saying something like:
“Oops! That was clumsy, but no big deal!”
“Well, that was a funny mistake!”
These lighthearted responses can help you feel better and keep the date going without any pressure.
Final Thoughts: Confidence Takes Time
Building confidence in dating is something you can practice over time. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being comfortable with who you are and learning from your experiences. The more you practice things like positive self-talk, focusing on what you can control, and reacting calmly to awkward moments, the easier dating will feel.
Remember, self-confidence is about being real and authentic, not about trying to be someone you’re not. By practicing these simple tips, you’ll start to feel more confident, and dating will feel less stressful.
So, what’s one small step you can take today to feel more confident in dating? Whether it’s practicing body language or starting a conversation with someone new, take that first step and celebrate your progress along the way. You’re doing great!
As Always, STAY TRUE BE YOU
Jackie, Briana, Kotatti <3
GET OUR DATING WITH CONFIDENCE WORK BOOK HERE! 