Understanding Secure Attachment
Relationships can be tricky to navigate, especially if you are neurodivgent. But understanding attachment styles can help make dating and connecting with others easier and less stressful. One key style is secure attachment, which is all about feeling safe, respected, and understood in your relationship. Here’s a breakdown of what secure attachment looks like, and how it can make your relationships more fulfilling!
What is Secure Attachment?
A person with a secure attachment feels comfortable being emotionally close to someone, but they also know how to enjoy their own space and independence. They feel safe and trusted in their relationships, and can communicate their thoughts and feelings clearly without fear.
Key Signs of Secure Attachment:
Trust: You feel confident your partner cares about you and will stay.
Independence: You can be alone without feeling abandoned.
Clear Communication: You talk about your feelings honestly and openly.
Calm Conflict: When problems come up, you work through them instead of avoiding or getting upset.
Example:
Imagine your partner hasn’t texted back in a while.
A secure response: “They’re probably busy. I’ll hear from them when they’re free.”
An anxious response: “They don’t like me anymore! I did something wrong.”
An avoidant response: “I’ll ignore them so they don’t hurt me.”
How Secure Attachment Helps:
You feel less anxious about what your partner is doing.
You handle disagreements calmly, instead of getting too upset or shutting down.
You can respect each other’s need for space, knowing it doesn’t mean rejection.
Tips to Build a Secure Attachment:
Trust your partner: Believe they care about you, even when you're apart.
Take space when needed: It's okay to have time alone. It helps you recharge and stay connected.
Talk about your feelings: Let your partner know how you feel without fear of judgment.
Handle conflicts calmly: Work together to solve problems, and don’t panic when things get tough.
Why Secure Attachment is Good for You
Having a secure attachment makes relationships more stable. You don’t have to worry about feeling abandoned, and you can communicate clearly when something’s wrong. Plus, it helps you feel more confident in your ability to have healthy relationships!
So, if you’re wondering if you have a secure attachment:
Do you feel comfortable in your relationship?
Can you trust your partner without feeling anxious?
Do you handle disagreements calmly?
If you answered “yes,” you might already have a secure attachment! If not, that’s okay—these things take time. Start small by trusting yourself and practicing clear communication. You’ve got this!
As Always
STAY TRUE, BE YOU!
Love, Jackie, Kotatti, and Brianna <3
